Abstinence Makes The Writing Heart Grow Fonder

As a busy freelancer, wife, inveterate reader, dog owner, and caretaker of a cherry orchard, I’m frequently asked how I find time for personal writing. Well, I’m about to let you in on a little secret.

I don’t schedule it. That’s right. I used to make appointments with my muse, sit down at my desk, and just prayed she showed up. Sometimes she did, and trust me, I was duly grateful. But these planned events felt a little forced. The muse, after all, depended on me. And I had to be in the moment to make it work.

As a former manager, I built a career around appointed times, calendars, meetings. So scheduling time to write just made sense. But now, since leaving the traditional work place, I’ve taken the liberating step of letting my muse schedule herself.

WHAT?

I can hear the protests, the murmurings around the world. I can even feel the wobble of the Earth at these words. I’m sure you’re wondering how I can possibly make time to write without a formal reservation.

Here’s what I do. Now I’m driven solely by the creative instinct. I write only when I have something to say. And when I do have a new idea, sometimes, brace yourself, I actually refuse to let myself write.

WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?

I know it sounds nuts. Even perverse. But in the words of the great poet Ovid: “What is allowed has no charm; what is not allowed we burn to do.” (Amores, II, xix, 3). The act of abstaining from writing actually fans the flames and lets my idea stew inside my head. When I finally do sit down to write, the words stream onto the page with new vigor. I encourage you to try this approach yourself. Next time you feel as if you “should” be writing, do something else instead, such as pull weeds, walk the dog, or even do the dishes. You might be surprised at the results.

Over the past few months, I’ve been fortunate enough to serve as a regular columnist for Healthline, and my most recent piece, M.S. Can’t Stop Me From Gardening, appeared last month. I also recently learned that my long-form essay, “Private History of Deviled Eggs” earned honorable mention in the 2022 Alex Albright Nonfiction Contest and will appear in The North Carolina Literary Review in 2023. Another long-form essay, “My ‘Haunted’ Lamp” will be released as a podcast on Episode 3 of PenDust Radio in September, so please stay tuned.

Wishing you a happy summer of writing – and abstinence as needed!

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4 thoughts on “Abstinence Makes The Writing Heart Grow Fonder

  1. Hi Ashley, while this advice is counterintuitive, I am glad it works for you and that you showed us how and why. I think we too often get stuck in creative ruts because we’re bent on following the “cardinal rules” of the trade. I wonder, though, how your approach would carry one through the middle muck of novel-writing. BTW, I enjoyed your recent interview on WOW.

    1. Evelyn, thank you for stopping by, and for such a thoughtful comment. Yes, I think this advice might not resonate for someone on a longer project as a novel, or on a tight deadline. It’s a luxury to be able to step away, isn’t it? One thing that works for me when I can’t step away is to only let myself stop for the day at a place where I’ll be excited to return to again. 🙂 Thank you for reading the WOW interview — Ruth is an inspiration all around!

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